The more you tighten your grip, Satan …

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Love the CS Lewis quote used in this blog. “Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else.” Happy reading.

chris's avatarGod in this life and the next

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

Just in case you don’t recognize it, the quote above is from Princess Leia in Star Wars.

The title – that’s from me.

Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else.

And that line is from C. S. Lewis, in the Screwtape Letters.  If you’re not familiar with it, it’s Screwtape (a devil) talking to his nephew (a devil in training) about how God uses the low points in people’s lives.  And how God’s special people seem to go through longer and deeper troughs than most.

Suffering for Being a Christian

1Pe 4:12 Dear friends, do not be…

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Bizarre Pastor Story

On By Daniel CooleyIn Confessions of an Idiot PastorLeave a comment

201401120251pastor_imageJohn Shuck, a Presbyterian pastor, doesn’t believe in the God of the Bible. And yet, he claims to be a Christian. Which makes me wonder, “What is a Christian?”

He wrote on an atheist website what he does believe. It goes like this, in his words:

  • “Religion is a human construct
  • The symbols of faith are products of human cultural evolution
  • Jesus may have been an historical figure, but most of what we know about him is in the form of legend
  • God is a symbol of myth-making and not credible as a supernatural being or force
  • The Bible is a human product as opposed to special revelation from a divine being
  • Human consciousness is the result of natural selection, so there’s no afterlife”

OK, everyone has a right to their own beliefs. But, if you don’t believe in the Bible, or God, or Jesus or an afterlife, why would you want to be a pastor? Why would you want to be called a Christian? I don’t get it. Besides, this would take ALL the fun out of the Bible Stories. The Bible is just… boring fake stories then. He goes on to write:

“In short, I regard the symbols of Christianity from a non-supernatural point of view. And yet, even though I hold those beliefs, I am still a proud minister. But I don’t appreciate being told that I’m not truly a Christian.”

I like writing Bizarre Bible Stories much more than Bizarre Pastor Stories.

John Calvin, of Presbyterian fame, must be rolling over in his grave. But no, there IS an afterlife.

Could John be shouting obscenities down from heaven? Is that allowed? No?

Curiosity being what it is, I wondered what a normal Sunday service must be like at the church where he is pastor. What do they read if the Bible is only a legend? It seems like any “good book” would do. What do they sing about if there is no Amazing Grace? Personally, I’d miss Bohemian Rhapsody – my assumption it’s banned since it’s about the afterlife. But we don’t sing Queen often in our church anyway. Back on topic – they are active in social reforms, and there is still an operation to oversee, so they must have an offering. Is that what makes it “Christian?” I sure hope not. He gives a hint what his church is like when he writes,

“Someone quipped that my congregation is BYOG: Bring Your Own God. I use that and invite people to “bring their own God” — or none at all. While the symbol “God” is part of our cultural tradition, you can take it or leave it or redefine it to your liking. That permission to be theological do-it-yourselfers is at the heart of belief-less Christianity.”

The thing is, it isn’t belief-less. It’s belief-different. Not believing in an afterlife means you believe there are no eternal rewards or justice for your actions. Not believing in a divine authority means you believe you are your own authority. My kids would have loved that.

Bring Your Own God is curiously close to the lie the serpent told Eve, “You will be like God.”

Same preaching, different preacher.

It’s the same lie. Spread it if you want – shoot most of the planet probably agrees – but why from the pulpit of a Presbyterian church?

That word “Christian.” I do not think it means what you think it means.

AllBks

Unbroken: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

On By Daniel CooleyIn Book ReviewsLeave a comment

unbrokenThe Good: This is easily the best biography I’ve ever read. Time named it the “top nonfiction book of the year.” Laura describes events as if you are watching them – living them. In this real life Series of Unfortunate Events, there is surprising inspiration. If you read one book this year, you won’t go wrong choosing Unbroken.

The Bad: When my wife JO first gave me the book, I read a chapter and gave up. I’m an extremely lazy reader, and it just didn’t grab me. Then we went to the movie against my objections, and I decided to give it another shot. Once in a few chapters I couldn’t put it down – no more skimming, I wanted every word.

BTW, reading the book AFTER watching them move worked out better for me. The book is much darker in the bad times, and much brighter in the good. I’d have been disappointed if I’d watched the movie after reading the book, but this way I enjoyed both.

The Ugly: A note about the movie. Before seeing it, I had read that much was left out from the end of the book. Somehow that was suppose to make the movie lousy. I watched the movie, loved it, and thought they were wrong.

Then I read the book.

They were right.

As much as I loved the movie, after reading Unbroken, looking back on the movie it seemed flat. It’s black-and-white in my memory in comparison. The worst of it is that the movie misses the main point of the book. The movie leaves one with the impression that the end of the war was the redemption the Japanese POWs needed to start a new life. Nothing could be further from the truth. For most of the captives, the end of the war was the beginning of a new hell back in the states as they strove to start a new life without dignity and with PTSD. So, in a sense, the movie, as good as it was, leaves you with a lie. The book continues through the hell of hatred, flashbacks and resentment to true redemption. Don’t miss it.

My favorite quotes in the book weren’t written by Laura Hillenbrand, but are the quotes she chooses record. Here are a few of them:
• “Darkness doesn’t hide the eyes of God” – Billy Graham, p.380
• Louie’s letter to Matsuhiro Wantanabe is worth the price of the book alone. I won’t put it in so as to spoil the book, but it comes on pages 404-405. These words of Louie are the binding of the entire book – the reason the rest of his story is worth telling. It is a shame they left it out of the movie completely. These words have no great meaning without his previous life story, but his story has no meaning without these words.
• Resentment… “nails every one of us onto the cross of his ruined past.” – Jean Amery

AllBks

Die Trying: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

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die tryingThe Good: It’s a Jack Reacher novel. If MacGyver and Jack Bower could have a kid, it would be Reacher.

The Bad: I liked the first book, Killing Floor better. Lee Child is an amazing writer, but this wasn’t one of his best stories. For the first 75% of the book it seemed to me like Reacher was just along for the ride. “Come ON,” I kept thinking, “Kill somebody already!” Then he did, and I was happy again.

The Ugly: Unlike Killing Floor, I ended up skipping some of this book. It’s worth the read to stay with the series, just not my favorite by Child.

For a series that improves with the second book, try Bizarre Bible Stories! 2.

AllBks

Happy Valentines!

On By Daniel CooleyIn Confessions of an Idiot PastorLeave a comment

image010We’ve given up on a Christmas letter. So – here is our Valentines letter, mostly written by Micah. Let the idiocy and merriment begin.

image001Max: Still Mama Cooley’s favorite, even though he poops outside. It’s weird.

Mama and Papa Cooley: Well they became grandparents, again in 2014, which is a bonus, I guess. The new favorite kids are the grandkids now, so that sucks for us actual kids. I have to assume there is no small amount of poetic justice in watching your kids have kids and thinking, “Haha! Revenge!”

In less grandparently news, Papa Cooley has doubled the amount of books (two!) he has image003published with Bizarre Bible Stories 2. We are presently in talks with Universal and Disney about movie adaptations starring Emma Watson and Chris Hemsworth [we wish]. Not that dad knows who they are. The simplest way to order is through Amazon.com or the publisher, HeritageBuilders.com.

Megan and Jon: Megan is heading up the 2015 mission trip to Haiti, well on her way to accomplishing her goal of being the “world’s worst financially backed philanthropist.” That’s pretty cool. Though if Jon actually finishes university by next winter (like he’s on track to do). . . nope – they’ll still be the world’s image004poorest philanthropists.

Cooley’s – setting world records even after the name change.

Jon will be graduating in December 2015 with a degree in communication. He still doesn’t talk much.

Megan will be starting clinicals towards her degree in Nursing. We all try and stay healthy around her.

image006Amanda and Jake: Early this year, Amanda and Jake got a puppy after Oliver was born. It was adorable and hyper and the perfect dog for Oliver. Everyone thought it was a brilliant idea for keeping the kid entertained. It wasn’t.

Two weeks later Amanda told us she was pregnant. Along came Emerson Tillman Franks on Nov. 21.

I encouraged them to get that dog. It’s my fault they now have two kids and a dog with enough energy to power upstate New York. I’m not sorry.

Micah and Caleb: Am I the only one that thinks it’s weird how I group everyone by couples, and then I just lump me and Caleb together the same way? We’re still single, in case you were wondering. Thanks.

We’re doing good. Caleb’s taking a year doing some discipleship thing at Camp Peniel, near Austin. So if you’re around there, go annoy him. Like shut off his hot water when he’s showering andimage008 stuff. That’d be brilliant.

image009I’m back at UNM after taking a year off to do Air Force things. I hope to graduate next year with Jon. My degree is in English. I still can’t spell much.

Micah for all.

10 Things About Micah Cooley :)

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Best… Blog… Ever.

mrsmpenner's avatarLateToEveryParty

Image

My brother is turning 20-something. Micah is possibly the strangest most amazing person I have ever met (other than my mom, dad, sister, other brother and husband). I love him to pieces. He likes tie-dye, good music, and sarcasm. Those are the only things I understand about him. There are many things that I and the rest of society don’t understand.

These are the words that come to my mind when I think of Micah:

1. Sleep. I don’tImage remember Micah when he first came home as baby. I think he completely slept through the first year of his life. I never heard him scream or cry. He would continue to sleep through the years of his life if it wasn’t for Oreo’s, Pop Tarts, video games or books. No one can sleep as much as Micah. This includes comatose people.

“Last night I had a dream I held and…

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A Sad, Wonderful, Stolen Blog of Thankfulness

On By Daniel CooleyIn Confessions of an Idiot Pastor, donationsLeave a comment

kristinaBookSome Facebook posts should never have been written. Guilty. Some should be engraved in stone – like this one. It was written by Chad Barrett, a friend of around 30 years, whose daughter went home to heaven last year. Here is what he wrote:

I was driving last night, and Caroline (our 9-year-old) was in the passenger seat. I reached over, grabbed her hand, and said, “I love you, Caroline.” She responded, “I love you, too, Daddy.” Then the memory hit me hard…

It was probably 3 or 4 days before Kristina passed. She would call for us during the night when she had to go to the bathroom. We had one of those baby monitors so we could hear her well. She had a portable potty in her room, and we would have to, basically, pick her up and move her onto it. She was in so much pain, and she was so weak. Her little body would shake with weakness–it was difficult for her to sit up straight, so I would hug her and hold her steady while she sat there for a few minutes.

She would try to work up the energy for us to help her up and back into the bed. One time, while Melissa and I were trying to help her up, Kristina whispered into my left ear… “I love you.”

I looked at her and responded with my struggle to remain strong, “I love you, too, Sweetie.” It was a moment I wanted to stare at for a while, but we needed to help her into bed. It is a powerful moment I will never forget.

Last night, as I was remembering, Caroline placed her other hand on mine. And I thanked God for His goodness. I thank God for my daughters… all of them. I thank God for my son who is learning how to express what’s inside. I thank God for my wife who is broken together with me.

It was another moment of surprised memory but followed with surprised peace.

Thank you, Caroline, for the sweet way you comfort my heart. Thank you, God, for this memory. Thank you, God, for my family.

Thanks Chad for your post. He let me dedicate Bizarre 2 to Kristina. I do hope God lets her read a chapter in Heaven.

AllBks

Small Group Success: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

On By Daniel CooleyIn Book ReviewsLeave a comment

11961The Good: Small groups are essential for fulfilling the 60+ Biblical commands for believers to “build up one another.” Sometimes though, small groups do a better job at being a source for frustration and division within the church. Bradley Wright, the author, gives practical, biblical help for organizing and leading small groups, while keeping your church in one piece – and growing as a result.

The Bad: I’m an ADD story lover, who can learn to rebuild an engine on YouTube but can’t figure out how to change windshield wipers with the instructions that come in the package. Bradley has a treasure chest of small group experience. This means his instructions are spot on – but it can read like an instruction manual. I need YouTube. Here is an example.

On page 61 Bradley writes, “Effective small group leaders prepare for their role prior to the first meeting. Great small group leaders are always preparing for their role…” Then he explains how to prepare – through prayer, following another leader, etc. I was hoping the next paragraph would state, “The last time I wasn’t prepared we started talking politics, a fight broke out, the police had to be called, three people went to the hospital, (only two died) and the church split.” I suppose a good example of preparation would have been cool too. In short, the book tells, rather than shows.

The Ugly: As a pastor, I’ve struggled to find a good book on small groups – at least one that is current being printed. I think this may be the best out right now – as the content is sharp, even if you have to dig a bit. I heard rumor Brad is editing and updating the current edition. I hope he will put in some stories and pictures for me. Then this easily goes from 4 stars to 5!

Do Women Write Better than Men?

On By Daniel CooleyIn Confessions of an Idiot Pastor, Fav blogs by othersLeave a comment

Say it isn’t so.

It’s so.

Grammarly is a great little grammar checker website. It’s made for English-challenged writers like myself. They did the research. I used to like Grammarly. The facts then.

They did a survey of about 3000 people. 54% were men. 59% of those surveyed thought women were better writers. The men should have lied.

Men were seen as better at getting to the point. Women were seen as better at developing characters. Men were better at writing simple sentences. Woman were seen as better at writing longer sentences. I don’t understand.

Lousy, short, simple writing aside – do you agree? Maybe that’s why some writing teams of Mother/Son, couples, Father/daughter work out so well?

BTW – Grammarly found eight writing issues in the above text, but I’ll show them. I’m posting it unfixed.

AllBks