Month: October 2014

Canadian Halloween Explained By One ‘Merican.

On By danielcooleyblogIn Fav blogs by othersLeave a comment

Halloween blog by my daughter Megan. Proof that appalling parenting can result in amazing kids. Maybe we’d do better if we were harder on ’em?

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Tucsonians to Canadians. A very bad idea!
One day my dad announced to us that our family would be uprooting from Tucson Arizona and moving to Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada.

Manitoba, is much like a frozen Texas. Actually, exactly like a frozen Texas. It’s flat. It’s frozen. What more do I need to say?

Winnipeg can reach -50F, and then comes the wind-chill making it feel even colder. We plug in our cars during winter so the battery doesn’t freeze solid.  For whatever reason, American friends think I’m lying about the car batteries. I lie, but not about that. And I prefer the word exaggerate.

Although Winnipeg Manitoba can get cold there are places that get MUCH colder. Yes, people actually live in those places too, I’m not sure how.

My Family’s Education on Canadian Halloween – Churchill

We were home-schooled and my mom, being the perfect homeschooling mom that she…

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What You Want for Christmas is Already on Your Cellphone

On By danielcooleyblogIn Confessions of an Idiot Pastor1 Comment

Your cellphone tells you what you value most. My new shotgun Christmas lights got me thinking of a few of my favorite things – things I had taken pictures of on my cellphone – things I could use more of this Christmas. Leaving people out, what is on your phone?

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#1 Birthdays: I’m not suppose to eat Boston Cream Pie anymore – but I can get away with it on my birthday. My wife JoLynn makes it from scratch, something she thought my mother did when we were first married. She misunderstood. Or i lied. Mom made it from a box. This stuff is to die for. I just may.

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#2 Roadrunners: This one came by as I was working on the truck. I’ve not idea why I like them and hate cats. But I do. I’d NEVER take a picture of a cat. Alive.

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#? Spitfires: I’m lying. Fun as they are, you need a spare garage for the 10 months a year you’ll be working on it. I got this ’64 to flip. Wanna buy it? 5k and it’s all yours. It is beautiful, and it runs. . . today. Get it for Christmas!!

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#3 Hot Air Balloons: More of them landing outside my backyard. We’ve had a few of those – lots around right now due to the Balloon Fiesta. I’d like about one a month landing outside our backyard, and I’d like to ride in one to get it off my bucket list, and I’d like to have no extra ABQ traffic during the fiesta. Just bring the balloons for us, no tourists please.

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#4 Compassion Kids: This is one of our Compassion kids, Bregard, with my daughter Megan in Haiti, in the house we helped purchase.

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#5 Micah’s Miata Back: We took that transmission out twice, then it got totaled a month later. I think it’s in heaven. I wonder if you get good cornering traction on those streets?

That’s it. 2 cars and no people pictures allowed. Truth is, four kids will do me. Do me in maybe? And one wife, although the best part of my life down here, is plenty.  Solomon was an idiot. Or a wise man who had a hard time saying no.

These were just pictures from my cellphone – except the balloon one as the phone one was lousy. Yes, it’s shallow. Still, does your cell phone reveal what silly things you would like to see more of this Christmas?

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Don’t Forget – Bizarre Bible Stories 2! hits the store shelves the end of the month. Stay tuned to CNN or FOX News for further developments. . . if I get sued. Otherwise just check back in here, your local bookstore, or Amazon

3 Early Christmas Questions

On By danielcooleyblogIn Confessions of an Idiot PastorLeave a comment

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I’m sneaking Christmas Carols like a teenager does smokes.  It’s part JoLynn’s fault. She bought me shotgun shell Christmas lights for my birthday. What a wife.

Playing the carols bring up some interesting questions…

1. Why would God leave gold streets, awesome power, and an angelic army and go… here? Dirt streets, baby power and Roman soldiers laughing at crucifixions seems like a lousy location for a vacation from heaven. Which begs the question…
2. Where do you go when you want a vacation from heaven? And if you left heaven as God for earth…
3. Why not blast some bad guys on your entrance? Instead of appearing to shepherds, why not land on the head of some unsuspecting Pharisee?

In so many ways, Jesus was one bizarre baby. Maybe the most bizarre fact is that He would come at all.

I got tired of trying to motivate myself to write about Bible Zombies. It’s hard to write about zombies while playing Christmas Carols.

So I’m starting a collection of Bizarre Christmas Stories. Shoot any suggestions my way. And don’t forget to save the shells.

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BTW – Bizarre Bible Stories 2! hits the shelves in two weeks. Stay tuned to CNN or FOX News for further developments. . . if I get sued. Otherwise just check back in here, your local bookstore, or Amazon.