Wrestling with Confusion: Trusting God in Uncertainty

Confusing Christianity

We like to call some of the deeper teachings of Christianity a mystery. The deity of Christ, the trinity, the virgin birth, election, we accept these teachings by faith. Like the size of the universe or the idea of eternity, they are a mystery to us.

But somehow the things closer to home are more confusing than mysterious.

Why does God let some evil people live long lives while gracious, wise teachers are taken young? Adolf Hitler was 56 when he died. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was 39. What’s up with that?

I think it’s okay to wrestle with God with the things that confuse us. This equation helps me: confusion + wrestling = drawing closer to God. Mary and Martha were confused when Jesus delayed coming to heal their brother Lazarus. And Jesus didn’t condemn them for it. He comforted them. God blessed Jacob after his wrestling with God (Genesis 32). Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life, but he was blessed. Jesus wasn’t confused, but still He wrestled in prayer in the garden — and then went to the cross.

Maybe when we are confused, we should do more wrestling.

This Holy Week I keep thinking about the confusion of Christ’s followers 2,000 years ago. What were Nicodemus and Joseph thinking as they washed and wrapped His body? What were the women thinking as they watched, the disciples as they hid? Here’s what I imagine was running through their minds:

• Where was God all day? Why didn’t He intervene?
• What was the deal with the earthquake and the open tombs and split rocks and the torn veil? What does it all mean? Surely God was working in all that. So why is Jesus dead?
• How can so many impossible things happen in one day, and end like this?
• Is there any hope?

I can’t believe they weren’t all confused. And I think that confusion was a good thing. It caused them to wrestle with God, preparing them for what was coming, and transforming them into the leaders of the church.

Maybe this year life has been confusing for you too. God hasn’t done what you expected. JoLynn and I have been to two funerals of dear friends in recent weeks — her sister, and Cottonwood’s previous worship leader. We have seen God’s hand in both of their lives, and their services were encouraging. Still, it has been a season of grieving death in a church season of new life. It’s confusing.

When the women walked back to the tomb Easter morning, did they understand the open tombs, the torn veil, the forgiveness purchased at the cross? Not yet. Did Bonhoeffer ever understand why he had to die young by Hitler’s order? Not on this side of heaven, yet you can still read his writings from prison here. Confusion isn’t wrong if it draws us closer to God.

If you’ve ever watched a wrestling match, you know — it brings you close.

We don’t have to understand everything that is happening to trust the One in control. We just need to draw near to Him.

If this is a confusing Holy Week, that’s okay. God may have allowed it for exactly that reason.

Draw close. Wrestle it out and see what He does.

Dan

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash